Glee recap/review: All or Nothing

Wow, what a thoroughly disappointing end to what has been a pretty disappointing season of Glee. They should have just finished with Wonder-ful rather than giving us this week’s episode, All or Nothing.

There were five main strands to this episode:

  • Brittany going off to college
  • Kurt and Blaine’s will-they-won’t-they
  • Ryder and the ‘catfishing’
  • Regionals
  • Rachel‘s audition.

And there was also Will and Emma as a secondary storyline.

Let’s tackle them sort of out of order.

According to the opening credits, this was Glee by Brittany. While that might indicate she brought this episode together, nothing could be further from the truth.

At the start of All or Nothing there was a ridiculous scene where two professors from MIT interviewed Brittany, telling her she completely failed a basic maths test, and then telling her she was a complete genius, before offering her a place at MIT.

This caused Brittany to go off the rails, be mean to everyone, and then finally see sense when Santana (drafted in by Sam after Brittany broke up with him via text while standing in front of him) called her on her behaviour.

Then came a sort of sweet moment where Brittany paid tribute to everyone and said goodbye (everyone apart from Kurt, who was standing right there). And she told them that she’d been offered early admission and was leaving after regionals.

Also leaving glee club was Ryder, who finally found out who’d been catfishing him. After Marley initially confessed, Ryder quit New Directions, only to find out later Marley was just covering for Unique, who’d started the whole thing as a joke and then found herself getting ever deeper as Ryder confided in “Kitty”. Ryder did come back to New Directions, but only for regionals, after which he said he’d quit (again).

So to regionals, where we wasted the time it takes to sing two songs on that glee club fronted by some girl from American Idol. As I’m not in America and don’t watch American Idol, I have no idea who she is.

Then New Directions sang, and it was, to be honest, one of the blandest performances we’ve seen from them. Hall of Fame was quite good, I Love It was alright, and All or Nothing was just blah.

Yet they won anyway. And to celebrate Will and Emma got married in front of the glee club. It was actually a sweet moment, but only because I like Emma.

Over in New York Rachel auditioned for Funny Girl by singing Celine Dion’s To Love You More. And that was it. That‘s all we saw. Rachel auditioned and we left it there. I’m not the biggest Rachel fan, but I expected a little more, especially as her audition was actually really good. Instead, she was told she’d get a call about the role, and the we didn’t see her for the remainder of the episode (and she was at the beginning of it).

And so to the final strand, which is the most disappointing.

There was a time when Kurt and Blaine were the heart and soul of Glee. Whatever else was going on, however ridiculous, these two characters were sweet and real. Not so anymore. Yes, they’re still sweet, but the investment I felt in their relationship has slowly but surely disappeared.

After hesitating last week (mainly due to stellar advice from Papa Hummel), Blaine was back to wanting to propose to Kurt this week. He tried to draft in Sam to help with ring shopping, and Sam initially resisted. So Blaine went
with Tina instead, and met the cute old lady at the jewellery store, played by Patti Duke. She was one of two highlights of this episode.

Blaine and Kurt then went out on a not quite double date with Patti Duke’s character and her long-term partner, and Patti Duke’s character (no, I don’t know her name), proposed to her girlfriend while Blaine looked on at Kurt longingly, and Kurt leapt at the first chance he could to say that he and Blaine are just friends. And the episode ended with us seeing Blaine standing next to Kurt in the choir room, holding a ring box in his hand behind his back.

What happened to these guys? Actually, I know what happened. They broke up, and then the writers of Glee proceeded to pretty much ignore how Kurt felt about the relationship and just decided to concentrate on how Blaine felt.

We saw lots of Blaine’s heartbreak and regret, and a tiny bit of Kurt’s heartbreak (in Glease). We saw Blaine happy about he and Kurt hooking up, and telling Kurt they’d be back together. We saw Kurt saying he didn’t know how he felt about Blaine, and then Blaine telling Burt he wants to marry Kurt, and then ring shopping, and then about to propose to Kurt.

But how does Kurt feel about Blaine? In my heart of hearts, I know that Kurt’s still in love with Blaine, but my heart of hearts does not run the show. If I go by what I‘ve seen on my screens over the past few months, Kurt seems to be moving on, content for the moment to just have Blaine as a friend.

The writers have pretty much destroyed Kurt and Blaine, and a proposal is not going to make things better. I want to see healing, not a band aid covering the wound.

I feel kind of bad that this recap/review has been really, really negative, and more than that, it’s been written with resignation throughout. But I can’t help it. I’ll be watching next season, if only to find out what happens to Kurt and Blaine (and to Rachel), but I won’t be excited about it like I used to be a few seasons ago, and I think this is probably the last Glee recap/review I’ll do. If I’m honest,  I’ve sort of lost my faith in Glee. It was all or nothing this episode, and I felt like I got nothing.

Best moment
It’s a wonder I can find something for this, but I’ll pick the other highlight which was Sam, Blaine and Patti Duke’s character interacting in the jewellery shop. The acknowledgement of Sam’s crush on Blaine was handled with humour, and I liked it.

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